I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
