The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
