Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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