walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
