saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
