Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
