She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
