you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
