My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
