we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
