if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Randomize
