i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize