she woke up with a sticky ear
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize