White coat. Heels.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
