I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
