Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
