So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
