wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
