we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
