WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
