There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
