we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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