he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
