I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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