Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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