am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
