I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
