Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
