i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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