fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
