I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
