She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize