Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
well most of my day revolves around power hour
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
