Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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