At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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