He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
