I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
