wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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