We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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