I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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