just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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