we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
