ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
