video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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