everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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