Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can you bring me the toilet please
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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