Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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