Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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