Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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