Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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