you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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