I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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