I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
