Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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