I'm eating all of the evidence.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
