Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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