i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My bed is full of blood and feathers
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
