You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
