i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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