alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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